Quilt ADD in therapy

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Colorado, United States
Other than my family, the passion of my life is quilting. An eclectic, I love a wide variety of styles and techniques encompassing both machine and hand work. Instagram: lyncc_quilts

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Tried and Convicted: Quilting in the First Degree


 [ "Go to Jail" Party
at Lily Pad Quilting -
last day to link up!]




Police received a tip-off of a suspected quilter, with reports of Internet activity, home activity, community trafficking, and involvement of minors.

Suspect was apprehended while picking up children at the high school, with threads on her clothing typical of those involved in quilting.



The home offers much evidence of quilt construction (both piecing and quilting), and intent to continue.

Each bedroom has at least one quilt on the bed, labeled with the suspect's name.



 

 
 
 


Two bathrooms contain quilts, one labeled as a co-opted work with the suspect and her then-12 year old daughter.

 
 




Quilts hang on walls in two common-area rooms, mounted on pulley systems indicating intent to change quilts repeatedly.


 
 




Quilts lay on sofas and chairs, with household pets at ease on them, suggesting a familiarity. Additionally, cats are known to be very popular with quilters. This house has four cats.





The lowest level of the house holds a hotbed of evidence, with a dedicated sewing area and installed inspiration board,





Quilts in varying degrees of construction or a finished state are mounted on the board and other walls.


An ironing station appears to be permanently set up.





The one raw storage area is filled with fabrics, quilt kits, and quilter's tools.






The sewing area is set up in an L footprint popular with quilters. One sewing machine appears to be set for piecing, and the lab was able to determine that this was left on overnight.





The other sewing machine is set up for free-motion quilting, with post-it notes containing setting specs for different quilting situations, a silicon sliding sheet known to be used as an aid in quilting, and free-motion quilting gloves. Many threads popular with quilters occupy the desk area to the side.





Threads are also found stored in several desk cubbies.




It is reported that the pool table is frequently converted to quilting purposes and it can be seen that it is covered in many loose threads.





Back in the common area upstairs, the dining room is clearly used as a quilter's cutting and planning station, with a rotary mat, cutter, and rulers on the table in an apparent permanent set-up. Chairs are draped with various fabric sets and projects in progress.





Baskets are placed on a chair beside the mat, both filled with cutting cast-offs.





The china hutch has cut fabric pieces on the ledge and quilter's paraphernalia in each drawer. 





Larger rulers and newsprint paper (known to be used for various techniques by quilters) are tucked discretely at the hutch's side.





The armoire is topped with many folded finished quilts labeled with the suspect's name as the creator (some indicated patterns, others claim to be original designs), one completed quilt identified with a daughter's name as the constructor. Inside, it is filled with what are labeled as several Block-of-the-Month projects in various states of construction, as well as a corner filled with cutting scraps.





A collector's-quality dresser around the corner contains other quilting projects,





and the front coat closet contains 15 hanging quilt tops that appear to be ready for the quilting stage, as well as one quilt close to completion being worked in the hand quilting style with use of a quilter's lap hoop.





Suspect has quilting supplies and projects in a high degree of organization, but some points of disarray offer further evidence: a quilter's basting safety pin on the floor next to the sewing desk. 





Pieces of 1/4" masking tape hang from the desk side, apparently for re-use.




Cutting debris lies on the rug under the rotary mat, despite reports from neighbors of periodic vacuuming noise.





Pieces matching a project being constructed in the basement sewing area are organized atop the grand piano upstairs and appear to be periodically culled, as indicated by the organizing basket sitting on top of the acrylic sheet (which is marked with quilting motifs by what appears to be dry-erase marker).





Partially-complete applique quilt sections and applique supplies are strewn on the table beside the sofa, which also holds a tub filled with quilter's basting pins and tool.





Suspect's husband had to be told to cease and desist washing dishes, as he was caught destroying evidence of typical quilter's neglect of basic household chores. This is all that was left of a day's worth of accumulation in the kitchen sink, which had been filled at the time of police arrival at 4:00pm.  Husband stated he does not mind washing dishes or cooking dinner a couple times a week while suspect works on "UFO's" (known to be quilter terminology for projects that have spanned long periods of time in an unfinished state).





Suspect's computer contained evidence of regular blogging of quilting activity inviting others to participate,





involvement of minors in quilting activity,







and display of quilts in public - most recently in a blatant act at the Colorado State Capitol. Suspect's cottage quilt pictured previously in this evidence report, now hanging over the piano in suspect's home, is shown below on the right side of the north gallery. It is known to have hung in the Capitol from early July to mid-October of this year.





Suspect openly admitted on her blog to intentionally distributing quilts to the community at large, including wheel-chair quilts and a queen size bed quilt for flood relief.







Suspect's blog further implicates her involvement by offering several tutorials teaching others how to participate in various stages of quilt-making.





Photos in the logs of suspect's personal computer and phone indicate that this blog is, indeed, posted by the suspect and not by an imposter.



The court can readily see that this suspect participates in quilting construction at every stage and willingly leads others to participate in the crimes involved. Suspect does not deny this to be so, and states that she has no intention of changing her activities. Prosecution rests its case and asks the court to find Lynette (aka Lyn) guilty of Quilting in the First Degree.

26 comments:

Deb@asimplelifequilts said...

I literally LOLLED my way through this awesome post! No chance of parole for you!}

Kevin the Quilter said...

O!M!G! YOU ARE HILARIOUS! This post had me laughing from beginning to end! You truly ARE guilty of quilting! The crime scene #'s are GENIUS!

Queenie Believe said...

Wonderful post, very fun!
I've always called random thread/fabric clippings that attaches to clothes, carpet, pets - thread shrapnel :o)
Have a great day.
Always, Queenie

Miss Jean said...

I don't feel so bad about the pile of sewing "stuff" on the floor of the master bedroom closet. If you peak under the couch in the family room you will find cutting mats and rulers. We should all go to therapy - "Hi, my name is Jean and I'm a quilter..."

Debbie said...

Guilty you are without a doubt...a quilter!!! Very funny.

happydaysquilting said...

Hilarious, a laugh out loud post :)

Nancie Anne Quilts said...

Hang 'er High! Not the guilty quilter...just the quilt! You've just made my must read list...and I'm putting this post in front of my husband tonight, so he'll have visual evidence that I'm not the only quilt mobster out there!

Glinda ♥ said...

Brilliant, Lyn, guilty as charged and no remorse shown by the defendant! But we'll give you a reprieve as you've made us all chuckle :)

Missy Shay said...

What a terrific post! You are right, quilts and cats go together - I have eight!

Kristen King said...

Great job on your post..and there will be no acquittal for you! :)

Vroomans' Quilts said...

You did a lovely post (love all the exhibit numbers) - I was going to photo my black sweats with threads - LOL!

Joanie's Trendy Quilts said...

I am howling and doubled over in laughter! Honey I hate to tell you but you will be put in jail for many years if you don't get control. Yep! when every room in the house not only displays a quilt but every large surface, piano, pool table, floor, dining room table has a quilt in progress is highly suspect. But amazing every drawer in the house not limited to the sewing room has quilting stuff in it. You are in deep trouble. Aside from that your quilts are beautiful. I love all the ones on your beds and the ones hanging on the walls are incredible.

barbara woods said...

We are guilty of quilting

Nancy said...

I chuckled my way through this post and have decided that you are the guiltiest quilter I know! Thanks for a fun read.

Sandie @ crazy'boutquilts said...

Giggle* Great post!! Gorgeous quilts and fun evidence!

Sharon - Lilabelle Lane said...

LOL very "convicting" post that had me giggling all the way through. :o)

Susan Owenby said...

lol, very clever! The threads... they are almost as bad as the dog hair around here! Love your work and congrats on showing. :)

Suz J said...

I think your husband deserves an award! And I hope the police don't turn up at my place :0)

Dana Gaffney said...

LOL, I thought my house was a sweatshop, you have me beat big time and you're using minors!

Heidi said...

My suspicions are confirmed - you ARE a shameless rebel!

Wendy said...

Hehehehe, I thought I had quilts everywhere, but you definitely have me beat and you are using multiple areas to promote your quilting habit!

Lisa said...

Terrific post!!! Especially love the quilt hanging behind your piano. It is gorgeous.

Laura said...

haha, cute post... although I didn't know you were a CAT person... secret's out.

FlourishingPalms said...

Now this is truly, "What a Hoot!" Loved reading each and every piece of evidence, but hung my head in disgrace after piping up in an early post, that I do not like cats. Does this mean I cannot be convicted of "Quilting in the First Degree"? For shame.

Jacque said...

Oh, Lynn, I am still chuckling....what a fun post! You are truly guilty, my friend! And you are also one of our winners! :)

fiberobsession said...

Very clever posting of evidence! You aren't going to be able to anything but plead guilty and go directly to jail.